Deceitful, Sneaky Liars or Poor Mathematicians

Believe me - I am not one to make fun of anyone's math skills. There is a reason I went to law school instead of medical school. I don't like math. I still remember crying in second and third grade because I was not good at those timed math tests that we've all suffered through. So, normally I would never make fun of someone's poor math skills, and even now I won't do it. But I swear that I hope whoever made the pool lap mileage conversion chart at my gym is worse at math than I am, instead of a deceitful, sneaky, mean-spirited, hope-dasher. Because now I have to be a hope-dasher of my fellow swimmer at the pool. She believes the chart. I was skeptical. I double-checked, and the news isn't good.

When I was swimming on Friday, I thought to myself - this pool seems short. I mean, I knew it was short, but it seemed shorter than the girl suggested and shorter than the conversion chart suggested. I can't do math in my head - not of the conversion variety. Ok, I can't really do much math at all in my head. So, I swam my laps hopeful that the news wouldn't be terrible when I double-checked the chart. But honestly, I kept looking at that hypnotic black line on the bottom of the pool. I kept thinking about how many times I was breathing per lap and the number of strokes I was taking. I would pause at the end of the pool and look to the other end. It seemed like it was about half of the distance. Ever-hopeful, I thought that maybe I wasn't remembering right, or maybe that the last pool I swam in a couple years ago was a longer pool.

However, reality set in when I put my superior math skills to use by making Google convert the measurements for me. The pool is 37 feet and 3 inches in length. The pool conversion chart suggested that you would need to do 35.5 laps to swim a half-mile. Well, technically this is correct now that I think about it. Unfortunately, it means down and back equals one lap, rather than simply down the length of the pool. Otherwise, if you are just counting one length as a lap, you need 70-71 laps to reach a half-mile.

Perhaps, the person who made the chart was neither deceitful and sneaky nor a poor mathematician. Maybe the person was actually a swimmer. Even though most people say that a "lap" is one length down the pool, often many swimmers call this a "link." Then swimmers define a "lap" as an entire trip down and back the length of the pool.

Regardless of the conversion chart-maker's status as a liar, poor mathematician, or swimmer, I am going to be turning around a whole lot. So much that I am going to get dizzy, especially once I get back into swimming-shape. I suppose eventually I am going to have to start going to a different pool. Until then, I have to break the news to my fellow lap swimmer that she is about half as fast as she thought she was. Now I am the hope-dasher.